keep up with your support group. For now you have to realize that your children are in shock and are still proccessing it all. They are also angry, probably for a number of reasons. You just give them their space, tell them that you understand their pain, but they have to understand yours as well, and that for you to leave was really your only option. Who knows when they will come around, but that is not your issue. Get the help you need to heal your wounds from so many years of emotional abuse. Take care of you, cause only when they see how much better off you are will they realize how wrong and unfair they are being with you. So please please keep up the support group and get help to stand on your own two feet and love yourself and the rest will fall into place. Cause only when you finally love and respect yourself will those around you do the same. Good for you, you should be very proud of yourself that you found the strength to save yourself after so many years. Don't falter you are on the right path. It may hurt right now that your children do not see that you are really the victim right now, but remember you unfortunately have a hand in that, and are sort of paying for your mistakes. What do I mean by that? All the years of abuse your children witnessed and you passively accepted they were taught that, that is just how you and your husband are, that in a twisted way that was normal, now that you have stood up and said I can't take it anymore they are left to wonder why, what was so wrong that wasn't all these years. That is why I am saying give it some time, and as much as it hurts, don't allow yourself to be beaten down about looking after you. This is your time. Best of luck and keep at it and have patiance with your children, they will come around. Just don't get into a tug of war with your husband. By putting them in the middle will make it worse for you. You are not alone, you have your support group now, and get out there and surround yourself with new people, people who will show you the love and respect you deserve.Advice on this problem i am a victim of abusive husband verbally and emotional abuse and some phyiscal and i?
Get out NOW. Go to a battered women's shelter. I cannot think of any reason to stay in an abusive situation, especially abusive. Support groups will not help you if you continue to be in the same situation. Sure his family supports him. They were all raised in the same environment. To them, it is normal behavior.
So, what exactly did he do? What did you do to make your children bitter? I can't be sure, but I think there may be two sides to this story.
I think you guys should see a counselor or get some other professional help/advice. If that doesn't work out, I'm afraid a divorce is the only option. All the best.
You've stayed for so long with this man, it's kinda hard for everyone involved to fully understand. I am sorry that you have no family that you can turn to, I am sure that's difficult. If you can not get through to your kids and to your family, there is really no point stressing yourself out over it. Hopefully sooner or later they will realized that you are the victim and not the villain. You have to stay strong %26amp; stay positive, you need to do this for yourself, not for anyone else. It's good that you have a support group that you can turn to and relay on. Now that you are out, make something of yourself. So much of your life have been lost, you need to reclaim your life, and figure out what will make you happy. If you need someone to talk to, I am all ears.....
Family counselling desperatly needed here. If you are making good on your escape from an abusive situation, good for you. Let them feel what they want to feel, you need to feel safe and free from harm. Your kids are grown so you would be looking to start new anyway at this point in your life. Let them live their lives. Let them side with Dad. All you need is God and yourself on your side. It is hard and lonely and scary to start over, I know I am doing it myself but it is worth it and you will come through the fire to find a good new life for yourself. Ask God to help you, Trust that He will help you and you will see a remarkable change in your life. If I can survive a shattered heart to find a brand new life, you can too. God be with you
I don't know how good my advice will be for your situation, but I feel you made the right decision by leaving. If your children don't see that now they will later. Hold your head up high and continue to be strong and I pray you find faith in yourself and God to be able to stand alone in the face of adversity. God delivers to us what we need,when we need it and your time is coming. Show others that you made the right decision with your actions and not your words; the truth always comes out in the end. Good Luck and God Bless You.
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Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
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The span of my hips,
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Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
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Phenomenally.
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Men themselves have wondered
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Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
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Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
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The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
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Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
31 years of abuse? I don't know how you could have stayed. Getting out is the best thing you could do. Even if your kids support their dad...get counseling even if it winds up being just for you. Think about divorce. You have a legit reason for it. And if you do...start over fresh...move somewhere you always wanted to move and pursue any dreams you maybe have put on the back burner years ago...just take time for yourself...you have obviously been through a lot and deserve to endulge in some of the things you want. And maybe there will be an amazing man in your future.
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