Thursday, July 29, 2010

I need some serious advice about family problem, badly needed. please help me???

I am caught in the middle between my mom and cousins and my aunt. My mom is the type of person who's very very frank, she doesn't think other people's feelings, and i have confronted that attitude of her, but she just got mad. Okay, the issue became big when my cousins celebrate their birthday last April without inviting us, mom was pissed. So what she did was she confronted my cousins about the bday party, plus the hurtful words she said, which is very wrong. My cousins got hurt ,and they tell their parents about it. My mom's reason was she just released her anger and i hate it cos she couldn't admit her faults. Right now, everyone in our family hates her and lost respect. I took the word ';sorry'; for my mom. Im mad at my mom and somehow i pity her. what am i going to do?I need some serious advice about family problem, badly needed. please help me???
I understand that it is hard to talk to someone like this heart to heart. Those who have a strong voice, and speak their mind, often dont see your side. I think in this case, your mom was wrong to be so blunt and put her anger off on your cousins. However, I do see her side in being upset that they did not invite you. You have every right to be embarrassed by your mothers behavior. It sounds to me that you and I are a like, in the sense that you really dont like to cause conflict, and you try to be the peacemaker...it's not a bad thing. =) Maybe you should approach your mother in her terms, meaning tell her your feelings without sugar coating them. Tell her that her reactions and outburts of anger are really upsetting to you. Then you can back down, and let her know that you understand she speaks her mind, but there has to be a better way of doing it without being mean and rude. I hope this helps.I need some serious advice about family problem, badly needed. please help me???
Your Welcome!!!!

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This one is kinda tough with no more information that you gave. From what you said it appears that your mom was hurt by your cousins not inviting her to their birthday party and your mom is pretty open about her hurtfulness. Maybe your mom's attitude is why she wasn't invited to the party or maybe your cousins and aunt treat your mom bad is why she has the attitude. Kinda the chicken or the egg question.


Not knowing any more about the situation....the best I can tell you is that nobody is ever gonna love you like your mom. She may have some messed up thoughts in her head and she may not treat others or even you like she should at times but like I said...ain't nobody ever gonna love you like your mom. Sounds like your mom might just need someone to love her back. And maybe...without getting all confrontational with your cousins and your aunt you could let them know that they hurt your mom's feelings by not inviting you and her to their birthday party.
Nobody can blame your mother for feeling like outcasts in the family clan. You did not mention the reason why you were not invited, don't you have any idea? Your mother is at the age when everything is black or white. No amount of cajoling and reaching out can overcome your differences. Let her talk and talk till she all grows feathers. You just have to keep on being her daughter.





Of course your family and relatives mean well to you and only have best interest in mind. Be the bridge, plan activities like out of town or outdoor or indoor small family gathering to make them feel good and patch up their differences. It's not the healthy option but do it, if only to give your life a semblance of normalcy.





In the long run and in the event that they hear from your family, they might even respect you for having the breeding and class not to create a family feud.
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