I am a seperated single mother of three with a problem looking for advice?

I have struggled with cutting since i was young. I am in the middle of a divorce and happened to meet this wonderful man. Hes mature, responsible, and very loving. We met only three months ago it went fast very fast we said i love you within two weeks and whatever, well then a month ago we realized that we need to slow down, I myself am an all or nothing selfish kinda gal who is havin a hard time with this, to add to my drama i was laid off five weeks ago. well last night I had a ';discussion'; with my boyfriend who says he loves me and i am the woman he needs to be with and his family loves me and blah blah blah but right now we need to slow down even more hes not ready to commit. Well after we hung up, Icut myself for the first time in two years. Stupid i know but it helped for a minute. Well we went out tonight i hid it pretty well, till the end of the night then oops he saw it and obviouly wasnt happy. Mind you he works in a prison with the mentally unstable he said he sees that all the time. and that he was freaked out. I honestly told him in the beginning i use to do this but hadn't so it shouldn't have blindsided him but now i am really worried he is disguted with me and i dont know what to say to him. Yes i know that i should seek counsling and no i won't do meds cause i went that route years ago and it was horrible. I just need a little advice please no rudeness i don't need that. thanks to anyone who is willing to respond honestlyI am a seperated single mother of three with a problem looking for advice?
if you love him like you say you do then tell him the truth. no you are not mainc and you are not trying to kill yourself. but you feel you dont have anyone to go to with your problems especially lately.


i know you are hurting and you dont see how you are going to make it. i know you have alot on your shoulders right now and theres really nothing a shrink can tell you that you dont already know. you are a great mom to your 3 wonderful kids and though they might not show their gratitude now they will one day. you are going to be okay. look how far you have already made it. i dont know if you believe in God and im not a bible beater but He wants you to know that through everything that has happened and everythinjg thats been done he has been there watrching you. hes proud of you for taking care of your kids. He loves you and hates to see you in pain, he will take care of you just put everything on him tell him all of it hes there right now with you and he wants u to know he loves you and will never let go of your hand... if ya want to talk more email me torirenee89@yahoo.com. i love you and will pray for you hunI am a seperated single mother of three with a problem looking for advice?
This is something you need help with. You can not do it alone. You need professional help, be it a pastor from your church, medical profesional but I do not mean mecication. Some of the side effects are worse than the problem. Just get some out side professional help. Please.
That is very tough, people makes the difference. I would attend a church nearby and explore to meet loving and kind people. Not all of them are that good, but please try and you may fine one out of hundred.
Honestly I don't think there is much you can say to him, I think you may have scared him off.
siah
why cut yourself? just dont do it
well... dnt trust my opinion a full 100% bc ive never had a boyfriend.. and im only 16.. but i mean ok at first i think he should feel weird bc it caught him off guard. but after that he should have sat down with you and asked u what is really going on bc hes ur boyfriend and boyfriends are supposed to do that right? and since you said he works in a department that deals with those types of things, then he should have really been able to get you to open up or whtevr. hope this was helpful.
Since you have children you have no options but to get professional help. If you don't the state could award the father of your children full custody. I've seen it happen over something like this before. When it comes time for the divorce your soon to be ex must know that you've cut in the past. He'll bring that up in court, and the judge will look at your arms. And they can tell whats most recent or not.





So get yourself the professional help that you need. If medications comes to play in your help go for it! There are all kinds of medications out there that will not give a horrible time. You just need to find the right one. It's not all about you, you have children who should be your top priority!





Good luck to you and get the professional help ASAP!
Please just realize that cutting doesn't help. It may make things better for a few minutes at first, but in the long run it just makes even more problems for you. Think about it, you cut to deal with your problems, yet the cutting becomes a problem itself. It's like addiction, I've dealt with drug addiction for many years, and I know it's not easy. You just have to come to a point where you realize that it's not a productive way to deal with the pain. If you hadn't cut, then you wouldn't have gotten into the discussion about it tonight, see what I'm saying. Find something non-destructive that can help you deal with things in a productive manner, I know you can do it, because if you couldn't, you wouldn't have asked for help. You recognize it's not healthy behavior, and you do have the ability to overcome it. Good luck.
Seek counseling, but do it openly and honestly. So many people go to psychologists and are afraid to talk about what's going on. the best way to deal with it is to speak openly. the Psychologist might recommend drugs, but you can just say no.





People don't cut for no reason. you need to confront your past and confront whoever it is that hurt you like that. gaining closure is a HUGE part of moving past these types of actions. I wouldn't try to confront without talking to a psychologist First though. they can help you deal with the anger so your interaction with this person doesnt lead to more of the same.





Make sure your Psychologist has a Doctorate from an Accredited University, and that they have a Valid License in your state. These standards will ensure that they have ethical codes to follow which include keeping your affairs private.
every month take a *-your name here- day of pleasure* do a thing you love the choices are endless, go to the mall and spend 200 dollars on clothing or toys for the kids, or go to the spa and get a full treatment, go to the beach for a weekend WHATEVER YOU LOVE! part of being happy is doing happy things when you start doing fun things you will be happy more often you will have something to look forward to and even make a promise to yourself if you cut, you don't get to do the fun thing this month MAKE SURE YOU GO ALONE you sound like you need to get away from everything and have a day to yourself to take in the pure Ecstasy of life
well, i feel deeply for anyone who as ever gone thorugh cutting.


you are a very brave and strong person to have stopped even if only once = ] im sure this time will work out too, anyway.


i think this man obviously really loves you, right now he is probably just hurting, seeing the person you love most hurt themselves feels horrible, i know from experience. He maybe feels guilty about it... im not supprised if he acts strangely, he loves you and seeing that must hurt him.


But he loves you, so it think the best thing to do is talk to him honestly. just tell him how you feel. let it out, even if you cry, let your feelings out, its ok, its better than resorting to cutting. he sounds very understanding so im sure he will help you through this. im sure he will understand, and if he loves you things will work out fine, and im sure he will be there for you.


the most important thing, is to do the best thing for you.





take care
The problem is, that he is not ready to commit himself to you.





You need to talk to him to find out his middle ground.


Can he support you.


Is he steady with you, you cannot afford to muck around with three kids.


Drop him, if he is not ready, it will be easier for you in the long run


by yourself.
there is no reason for you to be cutting urself..i wouldnt be superised if he got turned off by that...im sorry to say...


u have 3 children and you really need to set examples for them...u may be cutting urself and know ur limit...but what if ur child sees that and obviously doesnt knows his/her and really hurts or kills themselves...


honestly i dont know what advice i can really give u because u already know its stupid and u should get help and etc...sooo if i were u i wouldnt be so worried about ur new guy and what hes gonna think...id be more worried about what your children will learn from it..because im sure it would hurt u more if your child did what u do..and died..rather then ur guy leaving u..i would really get help if i were u ..and im not trying to be a B**tch or anything...its the truth..