ANY advice welcome....stepmom problem?

here's the deal. i'm 24. i don't live with my parents anymore (haven't for over 5 years.) i have always had a close relationship with my dad (he was a single parent and raised me from the time i was 5 years old). once my step mom came into the picture, everything was great. one big happy family. she has a son and a daughter of her own (not from my dad). over the last few years, she has given my dad so much grief over him helping me out if i needed gas money or whatever. it got to the point that when i would visit for holidays, i didnt even feel welcome at their house. she constantly compares the way my dad treats me to the way he treats her children. (i was married at 21 and my step sister just got married and he paid for both...mine was a courthouse wedding and her's was a huge ceremony and reception and my dad paid for everything without saying a word.) i miss being so close to my dad but i dont even call hardly anymore because i know if i do, she will start causing problems and i dont want to do that. when i do call, i have to call his cell phone so i know i will get to talk to him. her sister (my step aunt) told me she feels neglected by my dad because of how he treats me. (BTW i am his only child and the only blood family he has in this country). i have never acted out towards her or done anything to make her feel unwelcome. is there anything i can do to maybe get her to calm down about everything?ANY advice welcome....stepmom problem?
The best thing to tell you, speaking from experience, is to talk to your dad. It will make your relationship just that much closer. You need to let him know how you are feeling and that you feel pushed away and you miss him just that much more. He is your father and he will listen. It is difficult to have someone new come into the family and also dificult for her to find her ';place';, if you will. Maybe even take it as far as talking to her and letting her know how your feeling as well. I say the samething to anyone who asks a question like this, how do you expect them to fix or know how you feel unless they know how you feel. Maybe there not seeing the situation as your seeing it. It has to be better than doing nothing and feel just that much more pushed away. It may seem difficult, but I'm sure there will be a light at the end t your tunnel. One other thing don't just feel you need to talk, make sure you let them know and understand that your listening.ANY advice welcome....stepmom problem?
why not take step mom out to lunch and have a woman to woman chat with her.let her know how you feel then hear her out and see if you can work something out with her.if you can try to be more independent .
Not really, if she is so insecure that she is attempting to sabotage your relationship with your father, then there is nothing you can do to calm her down, she will remain fixated on getting all of his attention for herself and her children, because she loves him, she feels he should love the people she loves as much as she does, and she does not care for him spending time with his only child when that means that she and her children do not get that attention. All you can do is find ways to spend time with your dad when she is not there.
tell them how you feel. let your dad know what's going on with you. tell your step-mom too, in a respectful way of course. let her know that you want to get along and act like a family, but you feel like she's pushing you away. try to work out some guidelines so you both will be more comfortable with the situation. when you do, listen to what she has to say, try not to get defensive, and be willing to make adjustments in the way you interact with you. you can't expect her to be the only one to change. both sides have to give a little to make things work. but talk to her one on one and work it out





best of luck :)