The longer you wait, the worse it will get. Tell him now, and go check out some help:
http://www.daveramsey.com
You can whip this thing, but you need to start NOW.I need advice about my problem, please don't tell me how stupid I am, I already know!!! Just need some ideas.?
Nope never been through this before, thankfully, but for u hun,u need to tell him, u have created this monster w/out your husband's input/help, now u need to get his help to fix it.You just cannot keep it from him, by doing that will create more problems for the both of u, he will be devastated that u didn't come to him before about it, so my suggestion hun is to get it over with by telling him,and work on ur spending habits.U need help!
What you need is somebody that can give you help. not some computer geeks that only answer your problems to get an extra 2 points.
Ouch, im sorry. i would be scared too! thats a huge monster in the closet. and your living a lie. thats not a great marriage. you need to sit down with him and be honest. you may have a spending addiction and need to seek help and counsel. It so easy to keep financial burdens from your spouse but you need to tell him about this. it will come out sooner or later. better that you come forward rather than him finding out by mistake. ask him to forgive you. and be willing to do whatever it takes to try and fix it. (even if it means gettting a nite job) But know that money is the root of all evil and a huge reason for divorce. don't let your mistake break up your marriage. i would honestly seek counsel from a pastor or something. he may hold resentment towards you and that's not healthy either. Money dwindles away so easily. Be careful from now on. Give up being in control of the finances if you have to as well. Honesty is the best policy. it will break his heart more if you finds out with out you telling him. good luck. many blessings and prayers. by the way, there is help out there for financial problems. i would try a christian debt consolidator.
Firstly you need to seriously consider sharing this with your husband as 2 minds work better than 1. Of course only you can decide if telling your husband would make matters better or worse but at the end of the day you are only human and you made an humane error which could happen to anybody.
I havent been in this situation so maybe i'm not in a position to suggest anything but i have an idea and would like to share it with you its up to you to consider the usefulness of it. Do you own your house/flat? Do you have a mortgage? I'm not entirely sure how these work but maybe you could add this debt ontop of your mortgage? You could ask the mortgage provider (most likely a bank?) to give you a debt the same amount as you owe the credit cards and this would be added to your existing mortgage debt .. HOWEVER .. you need to be sure you can keep up with the monthly repayments (which would probably rise after taking out a further loan on the mortgage).
This is the only suggestion i could think of, its hard for me to say anything more with what information you have provided here. If you feel your husband not knowing is best then maybe you could confide in a friend? I think confiding in someone you trust and feel can help you would ease your mind and like i said 2 minds work better than 1. It may help you even more if you have a rich friend who could loan you this much and maybe you could repay him/her monthly repayments (at least you know interest wouldnt be a problem, the only problem would be finding such a rich and generous friend!)
I hope this helps, its only suggestions please think through what you want to do THROUGHLY before acting so the situation only gets better not worse
I wish you the best of luck and hope you deal with this successfully asap!
I have never gone through this but I had a friend who did. His wife racked up an astronomical amount on their credit cards and didn't even realize it until they needed some serious help. The worst part, she never told him, he found out on his own just by going through their files. She used their credit cards for things they needed around the house like silverware, blinds, and gifts for Christmas so she didn't feel like she was doing anything wrong. He was extremely upset and considered divorce. Then, he realized that all this anger was just wasted energy and wasn't going to fix their problem. They sought professional financial help and they're getting through it. They have said that their marriage is stronger because of it.
Telling him is the first thing you have to do whether you just blurt it out or you try to butter him up with food. Just be prepared for the worst either way you do it.
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