Please help, adult advice on teenage problem? :(?

hi, alright so this is the story:


im 16 years old, junior in highschol, gets good grades, and still a virgin, most of my friends arent virgins and they always make fun of me for being a virgin but dont worry, i dont get fooled. i WANT to wait til marriage and i WILL wait till marriage regards to whatever they say.


couple days ago, as a joke, my friend (as a joke) typed this funny ';contract';that says ';I, (MY NAME) WILL LOSE MY VIRGINTY'; when i sign that i agreed to lose my virginity before senior year, we all laughed about it (i dont take it personally) and they all faked my signature on it and so on.. so after all the laughing and joking around, like friends do, i kept the piece of paper with me so no one would find it, i put it in my purse so id throw it away at home, but i seemed to forgot and my mom (behind my back) looked through my purse and found that paper. now, i have two older sisters (18 and 20) and they both live with us and she showed them it. so when i came home after school, i walked in the door, my 18 yr old sister calls me a **** and gives me a dirty looks, i didnt think anything of it as we dont get along, so i just went upstairs to my room and my 20 yr old sister opens my door and calls me a whore. and leaves. then my mom comes in, and she told me she found this in my purse (the contract) i decided to tell her the truth that all kids tease me and it was just a joke between my friends and she should know better that i wont do that.


but the thing that hurt me the most was that she showed two of my sisters (there planning on telling my dad) before she confronted me. i never had a good relationship with my mom or sisters because im just different, im more mellow and easy going and gets along with anyone, while there full of drama and are the biggest racist people you will ever meet.


im really sorry if this is long, but i dont have anyone to talk to, and there is no way i will ever talk to my mom about anything again as it seems that i cant trust her :/ help. is it my fault? what do i do?Please help, adult advice on teenage problem? :(?
No, it's not your fault. Your Mom has trust issues for sure as she went through your purse behind your back. Plus she told your sisters about it before talking to you. I can understand her being upset when she found it, I have three daughters and would have freaked out also, but I would never have gone in your purse. If she thought you were doing drugs, or something else, she may have done this for a reason, but you say, you haven't given her a reason to distrust you. Evidently, your family has some problems. You do have someone to speak to, it's your school counselor. Go immediately and ask to speak with him or her and tell this story. They will help you. Also, there are clergy men and women who will help you when you explain this to them. Do you have a trusted aunt or uncle who could talk to your Mom and Dad and sisters about this distrust problem? Never feel there is no one to speak with, because there always is that counselor. School counselors are trained to handle this kind of family problem. Good luck - I'll say a prayer for you.Please help, adult advice on teenage problem? :(?
Aww that sucks.


It'll definately pass with time you just need to let it go and


if you want you can talk to her more about it. Tell your sisters to stop being such twats.


You sound like you're better than them.
oh wow this is kinda hard to answer, all you can do is say my ways arent worse then urs, and just keep telling them the truth and stuff, and tell one of ur closest freinds who was there to tell ur mom / sisters what really happened
No, it's not your fault that your family isn't as understanding and supportive as you'd like them to be. You can email me and talk to me anytime. I'll listen. Good luck :)
You need to get some new friends. The friends you have now are not really your friends or they would have never done something so rude to you.
Yes it is your fault.


Don't allow your friends to play such dirty tricks with you. There should be always a red line they shouldn't cross.
well atleast it was a good read, lol





at the end of the day you aint done nothing wrong, your surrounded by idiots tho.
come open your body is a temple and has close doors so dont open it to some dumby butt ok
It isn't yore fault. You have a hard family, just that
Don't let it get to you. It is not your fault. My family is the same way, just ignore them.
fyi **** isnt a bad word! haha lol
Oh my ??
okay first off you should of through it away at school and you should ignore your sisters and mom they have no right to call you that but dont let them bring you down because you no u not one im 17 im stilll a virgin and im waiting till marriage=] dont kill yourself thats not going solve anything try talking to a counselor i do or you can message me on myspace shaquisha_010@yahoo.com
It's no ones ';fault'; in my opinion. You could have remembered to ditch the note ... or your mom could have not pawed through your purse ... or your sisters could have had more faith in you. But none of those things happened. So it's water under the bridge.





What I would suggest is to go to your dad before the sister act can and tell him the whole story. I expect he'll recognize the behavior.





So far as your mother is concerned, maybe you can ask a friend over after school one day and have the friend explain the whole thing to her. Although, if she doesn't believe you she probably won't believe your friend.





Plan B would be to just drop the whole thing and hope they will, too. You know in your heart what the truth is. There's no real need to get yourself all worked up just because they don't know the truth and are seemingly determined not to know it.





Be your same self. Be as friendly as you can be, don't upset the household apple cart and go on as best you can. Good luck to you, and I'm sorry you've found yourself in this situation.
first id like to say good job...im waiting for the right person as well! Now in terms of that incident...id say you should confront your mom and tell her that your very angry at her for going through your purse without your permission and how it wasnt right for her to do that and on top of that, ask her why she had to open her big mouth and tell your (sounds like 2 complete b*tches if you ask me) rude b*tchy sisters before speaking to you. And once again explain to her that it was an inside joke between you and your friends and she has no right to assume the worse. Then tell your sisters off and be like do you really think im you...ok dont call me a whore when you and blah blah blah...my god i hate your sisters and i dont even know them! %26gt;:(
I'm really sorry about what happened. You should not be ashamed that your still a virgin. Your whole family kind of sounds mean and I'm really sorry. This is not your fault at all. I don't really know what you can do but if you need someone to talk to I'm here for you. And I know what its like when there is no one to talk to. I would talk to your friends.
it seems you are being treated unfairly and your sisters at that age should grow up and act their age. I think you need to rise above them, let them know how you see things and tell your mon your unhappy with things as they are,


If you believe you are not at fault and your being mistreated make a stand - tell your sisters to mind their own business and grow up.
That's an invasion with privacy.





YOur mom is mental and is not being a good parent.





It's hard to trust a parent once they've proven untrustworthy, ditto with their children.





Right now, I guess, just continue proving you're trustworthy, and from experienced, it took me all my life, until mom died. Yes, I'm more trustworthy than my sister, but parents have a problem believing that because of their insecurities. They're just human.





A bonus for your wanting to remain virgin, until marriage, don't be pressured to something you're not ready for.
next time rip up incriminating evidence and dispose of it were you are and im sorry that really sucks and is very very low of them i would suggest you talk to your dad quickly and get it over with and suggest family conseling ...good chance to embarrass them for stepping out of line...gl hun
First of all, be mindful of the situation you have with your Mom and sisters. I am sure that if you had thought of it, you would have thrown the paper away before you got home.





Now, you are going to have to take this as a tremendous learning and maturation experience which will ultimately make you a far stronger, more intelligent, and successful person than they are because you need to rise above it.





Take a hard look at your present environment....every aspect...school, home, everything...and figure out what needs to change...and change it. Even though you may not like it, it is time for you to change.





You are too young to leave your home, and you should respect your Mom (regardless of your feeling about her), so take this time to prepare yourself for adulthood...which in this case means getting good enough grades to earn grant and scholarship money to go away to college on your own where you will prepare yourself for a successful life.





I really wish I could tell you something more positive, but this is a reality check and it happens to everyone at some point in their life...including me.





You may email me if you have to.





Good Luck
first


i am glad that you are who you are


and i am gld that you know what you want for the future.





well i know kids in school tend to be idiots i would say and inmature.


i have to say they don't know s#it





well you did right to take the later away.


the only mistake you did.


is this one you didn't destroy the paper.





once your mother found this.


probably she didn't know what to do and freaked out.


that is why she went to your sisters thinking that probably


they could give her a better answer on how to deal with this problem.





i know how girls at.


and sorry if i offend you.


but most likely when it comes to this type of problems.


females do not know what to do.





do not feel bad.


i have to have to say your sisters


are inmature.





the first thing they should it done is


talk to you.


no call you a bitc#





well just get a couple of friend of yours the person that actually wrote the note. and take him/her home.


it has to be in a day when only mom and you are home.


so you could have a really private conversation ok.


make sure your sisters are not there.


and make sure your mom does not get mad at the person that is


telling her the truth. ok





let her know it was a joke.


we didn't ment to offend your daughter.





make sure someone talks to mom





ok


good luck


hope this help
no of corse its not you fault. time will pass and they will forget about it :)





and as for you 'friends' .. guys prefer virgins! as they no they havnt been round the block. and they also think that virgins have a tighter vagina so it will feel better in sex than sumbody that had lots of sex and is all loose :)
Well, Stella my love, I'm very proud of you for your convictions. Your mom should be more proud of you as well. You are doing a good job of resisting peer pressure. Real friends would be supportive of your ideals and not want you to do anything that was unsafe, illegal or against your moral principals. What others think of you will not change the truth. I have a feeling that some of your friends may only pretending to have lost their virginity. I don't know why as it's nothing to be proud of.