ADVICE SERIOUSLY NEEDED!!!!!!!!!!! Problem with controlling parent =[?

am an 18 year old spanish girl who has an overbearing, overprotective and controlling father and i dont know what to do or how to deal with it. I love my father and i know he has good intentions when he does things but he drives me crazy. My parents got seperated when i was 11 years old and since then ive had to grow up before my time. I stayed living with my father for school purposes (and because when i iwas 11 years old i decided that he needed me more emotionally than my mother) I cook, i clean, i go to work, do volunteer work and come home, n thats basically my life. He makes it such a hassle for me to go out with friends, he ALWAYS wants to know what im doing (like if someones driving me home from school he'll call me 20 times a minute to see where i am), at the mention of a guy he flips out and says all guys want is sex, he SAYS i can have male friends but when i try to hang out with one he says ABSOLUTLY NOT all guys want is sex (like im a dumb *** whos just gonna have sex every 2 secondswith every guy i meet) (by the way im a virgin) i cant hang out with ANYONE and basically i feel like a caged bird =[...i have ALWAYS tried to do what my father asks of me and i ALWAYS try to be a good daughter and i ALWAYS put him or my brother ahead of myself but this is taking a toll on me. im sooo depressed because i feel trapped in a prison (i dont have a car and i live in a very secluded place so the closes bus is like a 45 min walk) Am i being unreasonable? is it wrong for me to want a chilhood? i need advice on what to do and how to deal with this (opinions would be nice 2)ADVICE SERIOUSLY NEEDED!!!!!!!!!!! Problem with controlling parent =[?
Okay, you have to understand that your dad loves you and is trying very hard to protect you from being hurt. It's difficult for dad's raising daughters, because you're daddy's little girl, and will always be. There is never going to be a man that is good enough for you in his eyes.





With that being said, you are 18, and that legally makes you an adult. I would sit down with your dad, and explain to him that you need to have a serious conversation with him. Before you have this conversation, I would write down your key points, and have reasons/examples to back them up. Look at this like a salesman. You are trying to pitch a sale (your social life) to a potential buyer (your dad). You have to be ready to deal with his immediate NO response. I would also ask him not to make any decisions quickly, but to think about what you have to say.





I can see both sides of the situation, because out of our 5 children, 2 are girls (one 16 and one getting ready to turn 15), and my husband will patrol our front porch looking for someone to eyeball our girls. I've had to go to battle with him a number of times for our girls.





Have you got an aunt, or female maybe on your dad's side of the family that can help you out? That may be an idea also.





Good luck sweetie! You sound like a very mature responsible girl. You stay like that or us YA oldies will find you on here and lecture you unmercifully!! :) :)ADVICE SERIOUSLY NEEDED!!!!!!!!!!! Problem with controlling parent =[?
If you're grown up fast, you're mature, you're 18 years old.. I suggest you get a roommate or two, and move out!!!


Respect your father as long as you live in his house.
try to understand ur dad's feelings.. it is quite hard for a dad to bring up girls.. i have heard it from my dad and my best fren's dad( her mom died)..


so it is pretty natural that they will be quite over some times and seem really controlling.. so, try talking to someone female in ur family-lyk ur aunt or some1 to talk to ur dad.. if not talk to him urself..


tell him how u feel when he becomes very controlling over u..


im sure both of u will b able to work out a solution..


then, i think it would be better 4 both him n u..


good luck and wish u all the best!!! :)
I kind of understand what your going through, im 23 now but I also grew up in a spanish family and well my mother was VERY over protective. I felt like a caged bird at one point in my life. Without disrespecting your father you have do what you want and enjoy life. You seem like a very responsible person who is not looking to go out and do things he would disapprove of anyway, try to explain that to him. If that fail, remember your 18 and an adult, though you love him, he is not being reasonable at all, and i hope you realize that. I lived for a very long time doing everything to make my mother happy and in the long run she was happy but i was miserable, sometimes we have to stand up to our parents. In the end they always seem to love us no matter what we have done, and your father seems to be that way. If you feel uncomfortable or he feels uncomfortable you going out and all maybe you can work and save money and get your own place near him, that way you can still be there for him but live your own life. Just remember, you have to do what makes you happy, parents have trouble letting go of their kids....Good Luck!

scars